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ARTICLES IN THE BOOK

  1. A Christmas Carol
  2. Advent
  3. Advent calendar
  4. Advent wreath
  5. Aguinaldo
  6. Ashen faggot
  7. Belsnickel
  8. Bethlehem
  9. Biblical Magi
  10. Black Friday
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  12. Bubble light
  13. Buche de Noël
  14. Burgermeister Meisterburger
  15. Caganer
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  17. Christkind
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  19. Christmas card
  20. Christmas carol
  21. Christmas cracker
  22. Christmas dinner
  23. Christmas Eve
  24. Christmas flowers
  25. Christmas gift-bringers around the world
  26. Christmas lights
  27. Christmas market
  28. Christmas music
  29. Christmas number one
  30. Christmas ornament
  31. Christmas pickle
  32. Christmas pudding
  33. Christmas pyramid
  34. Christmas seal
  35. Christmas stamp
  36. Christmas stocking
  37. Christmas stories
  38. Christmastide
  39. Christmas traditions
  40. Christmas trees
  41. Christmas village
  42. Christmas worldwide
  43. Companions of Saint Nicholas
  44. Cranberry sauce
  45. David Zancai
  46. Ded Moroz
  47. Ebenezer Scrooge
  48. Eggnog
  49. Elf
  50. Epiphany
  51. Father Christmas
  52. Frosty the Snowman
  53. Fruitcake
  54. Ghost of Christmas Past
  55. Ghost of Christmas Present
  56. Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come
  57. Gingerbread
  58. Gryla
  59. Heat Miser
  60. History of some Christmas traditions
  61. Hogmanay
  62. Holly
  63. Jack Frost
  64. Jolasveinar
  65. Joulupukki
  66. Julemanden
  67. Koleda
  68. La Befana
  69. Lebkuchen
  70. Little Christmas
  71. Marzipan
  72. Mince pie
  73. Mistletoe
  74. Mr. Bingle
  75. Mrs. Claus
  76. Mulled wine
  77. Nativity Fast
  78. Nativity of Jesus
  79. Nativity scene
  80. Nine Lessons and Carols
  81. North Pole, Alaska
  82. Nutcracker
  83. Olentzero
  84. Origins of Santa Claus
  85. Pandoro
  86. Panettone
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  89. Père Noël
  90. Poinsettia
  91. Regifting
  92. Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree
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  95. Saint Nicholas
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  97. Santa Claus Is Coming to Town
  98. Santa Claus on film
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  100. Santa Claus' reindeer
  101. Santa Claus rituals
  102. Santa's Grotto
  103. Santon
  104. Secret Santa
  105. Snap-dragon
  106. Snow baby
  107. Snow Miser
  108. Star of Bethlehem
  109. Stollen
  110. The Grinch
  111. Tiny Tim
  112. Tio de Nadal
  113. Tomte
  114. Tree topper
  115. Turron
  116. Twelfth Night
  117. Twelve days of Christmas
  118. Twelve-dish Christmas Eve supper
  119. Wassail
  120. Wassailing
  121. White Christmas
  122. Winter holiday greetings
  123. Winter holiday season
  124. Xmas
  125. Yule
  126. Yule Goat
  127. Yule Lads
  128. Yule log
  129. Zwarte Piet

 

 
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CHRISTMAS TRADITIONS
This article is from:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twelve_days_of_Christmas

All text is available under the terms of the GNU Free Documentation License: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Text_of_the_GNU_Free_Documentation_License 

Twelve Days of Christmas

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

(Redirected from Twelve days of Christmas)

Twelve Days of Christmas is an English Christmas song which enumerates a series of grandiose gifts given on each day of the festival.

Origin

The Twelve Days of Christmas is a children's rhyme that was originally published in a book called Mirth without Mischief in London around 1780. Originally a memory and forfeit game, to play a circle of players were gathered and each person took it in turns to say the first line of the rhyme. When it is the first players turn again he says the second line of the verse and so on.

100 years later the game and rhyme were adopted by Lady Gomme as a rhyme that "the whole family could have fun singing every twelfth night before Christmas before eating mince pies and twelfth cake".

Festival

These are the twelve days beginning on night of Christmas (December 25) and ending on the day of 6 January as Epiphany begins on (January 6). In the Middle Ages this period was one of continuous feasting and merrymaking, which climaxed on Twelfth Night, the traditional end of the Christmas season.

During the twelve days of Christmas, traditional roles were often relaxed, masters waited on their servants, men were allowed to dress as women, and women as men. Often a Lord of Misrule was chosen to lead the Christmas revels. Some of these traditions were adapted from older, pagan customs, including the Roman Saturnalia. Some also have an echo in modern day pantomime where traditionally authority is mocked and the principal male lead is played by a woman, while the leading older female character, or 'Dame' is played by a man.

Some people give gifts, feast and otherwise celebrate on each of the twelve days rather than just on one day at Christmas.

Christmas Song

The date of the song's first performance is not known, though it was used in European and Scandinavian traditions as early as the 16th century.

Structure and lyrics

"Twelve Days of Christmas" is a cumulative song, meaning that each verse is built on top of the previous verses. There are twelve verses, each describing a gift given by "my true love" on one of the twelve days of Christmas.

The first verse runs:

On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
A partridge in a pear tree

The second verse:

On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree

...and so forth. The last verse is:

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
Twelve Drummers drumming
Eleven Pipers piping
Ten Lords a-leaping
Nine Ladies dancing
Eight maids a-milking
Seven swans a-swimming
Six geese a-laying
Five golden (sometimes gold) rings
Four calling (or colly) birds
Three french hens
Two turtle doves and
A partridge in a pear tree

The time signature of this song is not constant, unlike most popular music. The introductory lines, such as "On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me", are made up of two 4/4 bars, while most of the lines naming off gifts receive one 3/4 bar per gift with the exception of "Five golden rings", which receives two 4/4 bars, "Two turtle doves" getting a 4/4 bar with "And a" on its 4th beat and "Partridge in a pear tree" getting two 4/4 bars of music. In most versions, a 4/4 bar of music immediately follows "Partridge in a pear tree." "On the" is found in that bar on the 4th (pickup) beat for the next verse.

There are many variations of this song in which the last four objects are arranged in a different order (for example — twelve lords a-leaping, eleven ladies dancing, ten pipers piping, nine drummers drumming). There are also many parodies of this song, or modernized versions.

One way to interpret the lyrics of this song is that on each new day, all the gifts are given. This makes the total number of gifts given (counting 12 partridges, 22 turtle doves...) equal to 364, one fewer than the number of days in a year. There are 376 gifts if you count the pear tree as a separate gift from the partridge that resides in it. Of the 364 total items, 184 of them are birds.

It has been suggested by a number of sources over the years that the pear tree is in fact supposed to be perdrix, French for partridge and prounced per dree, and was simply copied down incorrectly when the oral version of the game was transcribed. The original line would have been: "A partridge, une perdrix."

Symbolic interpretation

Some Christians assign symbolism to the gifts in the song. One of the most common versions of these assigned meanings is:

  • The 'partridge in a pear tree' means there is only one God and is also symbolic of Jesus (see Luke 13:34).
  • The 'two turtle doves' are the Old and New Testaments.
  • The 'three French hens' are the three Persons of the holy Trinity or the three virtues: faith, hope, and love, though according to Ace Collins' book "Stories of the Best Loved Christmas Songs", they represent the expensive gifts of the Wise Men: gold, frankincense, and myrrh.
  • The 'four calling birds' are the Evangelists: Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John; or their Gospels. Which makes sense because they are "calling" out the story.
  • 'Five gold rings' are the first five books of the Bible, or the Pentateuch.
  • 'Six geese a-laying' refer to the six days of the Creation.
  • 'Seven swans a-swimming' are the seven sacraments and the seven gifts of the Holy Spirit.
  • 'Eight maids a-milking' are the eight Beatitudes.
  • 'Nine ladies dancing' are the nine fruits of the Holy Spirit.
  • 'Ten lords a-leaping' are the Ten Commandments.
  • 'Eleven pipers piping' are the eleven faithful Apostles.
  • 'Twelve drummers drumming' are the twelve doctrines in the Apostles' Creed.

This interpretation is usually taught with a story, confirmed by Ace Collins, that British Catholics, suffering persecution in the 16th century, wrote the song with these hidden meanings. The song would have served as a pedagogical tool, however, some sources say that it was merely a "memory and forfeits game" originally played by children.

Standard variations

Sometimes "sent to me" is used instead of "gave to me"; also "five golden rings" is sometimes "five gold rings". Some argue that "gold" is correct and that "golden" is not. But because "gold" requires stretching into two syllables, the word "golden" seems to fit better. Additionally, some interpreters of the song argue that the five rings refer to coloring around the neck of birds such as pheasants, not jewelry.

The line four calling birds is an Americanization of the traditional English wording four colly birds, and in some places, such as Australia, the variation calling is supplanting the original. Colly is a dialect word meaning black and refers to the European blackbird Turdus merula.

The line four calling birds in some versions is four coiled birds. One version even had four mockingbirds.

The line nine ladies dancing in some versions is nine ladies waiting. The ladies themselves are also called dames a-dancing, as was the case with Romeo Muller's TV special from the early 1990s (he had eleven dames a-dancing).

In 1981, Hilary Knight, illustrator of the Eloise books published "The Twelve Days Of Christmas" in the Weekly Reader Children's Book Club, and he had Ten Fiddlers Fiddling.

As well, the last four verses are sometimes interchanged, so that one version of the song may have nine drummers, ten pipers, eleven ladies, twelve lords, or any other combination.

Straight versions of The Twelve Days of Christmas has been covered by many popular modern artists and groups, such as Bing Crosby and the Andrews Sisters, Perry Como, and Tennessee Ernie Ford. The most famous versions are those recorded by Roger Whittaker and the Ray Conniff Singers. Andy Williams rewrote the song into "A Song And A Christmas Tree" on his "Christmas Album".

In Scotland early in the nineteenth century the song was started with:

"The King sent his lady on the first Yule day,A popingo-aye (parrot) Wha learns my carol and carries it away?"

Parodies

Many parodies of the "Twelve Days of Christmas" have been written, perhaps more than for any other Christmas song, as its simple list of gifts encourages imaginative substitutes.

The version performed by the Canadian comedy team Bob & Doug McKenzie replaces the first gift with "a beer" then "a beer, in a tree" (awkwardly metered to match the traditional "a partridge in a pear tree"), substituting the other gifts on the list with other stereotypically Canadian items. The version only features 8 items because the brothers complain about the length of the song so they skip to day twelve but talk over the part that lists days 12 through 9. The eight items are: 8 comic books, 7 packs of smokes, 6 packs of two-four (case of beer with 24 bottles or cans), 5 golden tuques (winter hats), 4 pounds of back bacon (known in the US as Canadian bacon ), 3 French toasts, 2 turtlenecks, and a beer in a tree. The song also suggests a dozen donuts would be appropriate for day 12 but face a conundrum because a bakers dozen would contain 13 donuts. Bob mentions at the end that this song "ranks up there with Stairway to Heaven."

One of the oldest parodies of the song was performed by Alvin and the Chipmunks, created by Ross Bagdasarian, under the stage name of Dave Seville. In this version, there aren't imaginative substitutes as much as Alvin begins to grow fatigued about halfway through the perfomance, and expresses himself by ad-libbing his lines in the song, while Simon and Theodore sing the correct lines. "Three French Hens, Can we stop now, Dave? And a partridge in a pear tree." and "Seven swans a' swimming, I'm getting tired! Five golden rings."' These antics continue until Alvin breaks up the entire trio by blowing the line, "'Leven Pipers peeping." The final verse is sung flawlessly however, in spite of Alvin's ever-increasing fatigue.

In his 1959 satire of the over-commercialization of Christmas, called "Green Chri$tma$", Stan Freberg invented several short and different variations of the song, including:

  • "Five tubeless tires"
  • "Four quarts of gin"
  • "Three cigars"
  • "Two cigarettes"
  • "And some hair tonic on a pear tree"

In the 11th episode of the first season of the TV show Scrubs, a parody relates the reasons why doctors try to avoid being on-call on Christmas eve:

  • 12 beaten children
  • 11 drive-by shootings
  • 10 frozen homeless
  • 9 amputations
  • 8 burn victims
  • 7 strangled shoppers
  • 6 random knifings
  • 5 suicides
  • 4 beaten wives
  • 3 OD's
  • 2 shattered skulls
  • and a drunk who drove into a tree

In the 1960s, comedy songwriter Allan Sherman composed and sang (along with a choir) the "12 Gifts of Christmas", and although it may seem strange, on the 12th day of Christmas he decided to exchange the eleven previous gifts:

  • "Automatic vegetable slicer that works when you see it on television, but not when you get it home";
  • "Chromium combination manicure scissors and cigarette lighter";
  • "Pair of teakwood shower clogs";
  • "Indoor plastic birdbath";
  • "pink satin pillow that says 'San Diego' with fringe all around it";
  • "Hammered aluminum nutcracker";
  • "Statue of a [naked] lady with a clock where her stomach ought to be";
  • "Simulated alligator wallet";
  • "Calendar book with the name of my insurance man";
  • "Green polka dot pajamas";
  • and a "Japanese transistor radio", a Nakashuma, the Mark IV model (that's the one that's discontinued), in a leatherette case with holes in it so you can listen right through the case, and a wire with a thing on one end that you can stick in your ear, and a thing on the other end that you can't stick anywhere because it's bent.

The version by The Muppets with John Denver is done with the traditional words, but with embellishments, notably by Miss Piggy, breaking up the "straightness" of the presentation.

Jeff Foxworthy's "Redneck" version has become the most popular parody version heard on American radio as of 2004. The gifts include a 12-pack of Bud, 11 rasslin' tickets, a 10 (tin) of Copenhagen, 9 years probation, 8 table dancers, 7 packs of Red Man, 6 cans of SPAM, 5 flannel shirts, 4 big mud tires, 3 shotgun shells, 2 hunting dogs, and some parts to a Mustang GT. Unlike most other versions of the song, Foxworthy's does not feature the characteristic numerical verses. At first, just one through five are mentioned, and subsequently he goes through all twelve.

Scottish Comedian Bill Barclay recorded a version (sometimes titled "The 12 drinks of Christmas"). Each verse contains a stronger drink, with Bill becoming more and more drunk as the song progresses.

A popular parody in the United States, The Twelve Pains of Christmas (performed by Bob Rivers and his comedy troupe), does away with numbering altogether and instead lists some of the activities that sometimes stress people out:

  • 12) Singing Christmas carols
  • 11) Stale TV specials
  • 10) "Batteries Not Included"
  • 9) No parking spaces
  • 8) Bratty little children (implied)
  • 7) Salvation Army (or charities and donations in general, as indicated in subsequent verses)
  • 6) Facing my in-laws
  • 5) Five months of bills
  • 4) Sending Christmas cards
  • 3) Hangovers
  • 2) Rigging up the lights
  • 1) And finding a Christmas tree

The kids' Christian video/DVD series Hermie and Friends had a release entitled A Fruitcake Christmas, and one of the special features included "The 12 Bugs Of Christmas". The Water Beatles (a parody on the Beatles) sing the song, beginning each verse with "On the (1st-12th) day of Christmas, a nice bug gave to me..." Among the gifts included are "three ladybugs", "five ants that sing", "six spiders spinning", and "nine dragonflies a-flying."

On the Sesame Street Christmas CD, the gang improvises:

Cookie Monster gets well, 1 delicious cookie, Elmo gets 2 baby frogs (just what he always wanted), Prairie Dawn gets 3 footballs, Grover gets 4 woolly bears, Bert gets 5 argyle socks, Ernie gets 6 rubber duckies, Oscar gets 7 rusty trashcans (from "someone" instead of "my true love"), The Count gets 8 counts a-counting (complete with thunder and lightning), Big Bird gets 9 lbs. of birdseed, Telly gets 10 triangles, Herry Monster receives 11 broken buildings and Snuffy can't remember what he got. As a sidenote, the way it was originally released on vinyl, it was the previous character of Hardhead Henry Harris (performed by current Gordon Roscoe Orman) who originally got the 2 baby frogs, and instead of 10 triangles like Telly got, the character of Smart Tina (performed by Sonia Manzano, the show's Maria and writer) got 10 wind-up rabbits.

Blizzard Entertainment released a free MP3 for its fans with the voice actors from StarCraft singing about different units in the video game. The list for that version:

  • Twelve Arbiters;
  • Eleven Science Vessels
  • Ten Ultralisks
  • Nine Battlecruisers
  • Eight Archons Burning
  • Seven Zerglings Swarming
  • Six Zealots Fighting
  • Five Newborn Queens
  • Four Hydralisks
  • Three Marines
  • Two Terran Wraiths
  • and a Brand New SCV

However in their MP3, the Archons only say "8 Archons burning" when they are introduced and on the 12 verse. On the 9th verse they say "Power Overwhelming." on the 10th verse they say "Terror All-Consuming" and on the 11th verse they say "I Hate All This Singing."

In the 11th verse of the MP3, the zerglings produce random noises rather than singing. This is likely because of the Archons saying "I Hate All This Singing".

At Garfield.com, Garfield receives a partrige in a pear tree, 2 teddy bears, 3 fruitcakes, 4 jelly rolls, 5 million presents, 6 dogs a-kicking, 7 bunny slippers, 8 plates of pasta, 9 spiders wacking, 10 cups of coffee, 11 hairballs hacking, and 12 mice a-dancing.

The Yobs, a British punk band, sing a perverted version featuring, amongst other obscenities, "5 fucking whores", 2 blow up dolls and a vibrator with a battery.

In a version "The Twelve Days after Christmas", the singer and his true love "had a fight". As a result, the singer spent the song describing how the gifts were disposed of by giving them away or (for most of the non-human gifts, which were sent back Collect, minus one drummer) killed.

In the Discworld novel Hogfather, Mustrum Ridcully sings what seems to be "The Twelve Days of Hogswatch", clearly a rather less unilateral song: "On the second day of Hogswatch I... sent my true love back A nasty little letter, hah, yes, indeed, and a partridge in a pear tree."

In the 2006 album A Twisted Christmas, Twisted Sister covered the song. It goes as follow:

On my heavy metal Christmas my true love gave to me,

  • "12 Silver crosses";
  • "11 Black mascaras";
  • "10 Pairs of platforms";
  • "9 Tattered t-shirts";
  • "8 Pentagrams";
  • "7 Leather jackets";
  • "6 Cans of hairspray";
  • "5 Skull earrings";
  • "4 Quarts of Jack";
  • "3 Studded belts";
  • "2 Pairs of spandex pants";
  • "And a tattoo of Ozzy!";

The Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS charity CD series "Carols For a Cure" contained two cast-written parodies of the song on two CDs. In the first installment in 1999, the then-current cast of The Phantom of the Opera sang about the things they received from "The Phantom," which were:

  • Twelve years in "Phantom" (spoken by the person playing Madame Giry, who had been playing the role since it opened on Broadway twelve years before),
  • Eleven pyrotechnics,
  • Ten thousand rehearsals (as well as cast changes),
  • Nine cameras flashing (or "cellphones ringing" or "beepers beeping"),
  • Eight tone-deaf dancers (who gradually and eventually become diva dancers),
  • Seven candelabras,
  • "666-- a chandelier in pieces" (as a reference to the line spoken at the beginning of the show),
  • Five high D's (although, for comedic effect, the actress playing Carlotta wasn't able to hit the note all the time, and besides that, it got repeatedly misinterpreted by Christine as an E)
  • Four fog machines,
  • Three pretty harmonies,
  • Two Christines (the usual and her alternate, but not counting the understudy)
  • And a sweaty piece of porcelain on [the Phantom's] face (first referred to as just "a mask").

Similarly, in 2005, the cast of The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee created a version of their own. These verses match the personality of their characters, like Logainne Schwartzengrubenierre has a sick stomach ulcer that she got for the sixth day of Chanukah from her two fathers; Olive Ostrovsky always kvetches about her dad forgetting things; Marcy Park pretends to be one with Jesus while at the same time trying to battle her understudy; Leaf Coneybear tries to talk to his two rainbow toe socks that he affectionately names Phil; Vice Principal Panch tests his urine, which is laced with Ritalin, hence his niacin disorder; and Chip Tolentino receives 11 Barely Legal issues over the mail, which then leads to the understudies calling the Actors' Equity demanding better health insurance. When they get to the fifth verse, however, William Barfee always chimes in with weird lyrics that rhyme with "rings," like "My shorts have static cling!" or "I pick, then I fling!" At one point, the entire cast chimes in with something absolutely irrelevant: "Chinese food at Ming's!" Of course, all verses end with the line "And a dictionary for the spelling bee," which, at the 12th time through becomes "and better presents than a dictionary." The song then concludes with the whole cast wishing everybody a merry Christmas while repeating and harmonizing the final notes.

By authors unknown, a clever bit of internet humor appeared a few years ago, suggesting humorous responses from the receiver of the gifts detailed in the song. The Twelve Thank-you Notes of Christmas from "Emily" to her generous and (at first) beloved "Edward" begin graciously, and turn increasingly impatient as the gifts become more numerous and unconventional. The final "thank you" is not from Emily herself, but rather from her attorney.

Also, the How You Doin' Boys, responsible for recording various Yankee salutes from 1999 to 2002, also created their own version called "Twelve Days of a Guido Christmas." "Carmanooch," one of the Boys, recounts the things he got from his "paesan." They are:

  • Twelve gobs of hair gel,
  • Eleven Sinatra CDs (complete with moment of silence),
  • Ten new hand gestures,
  • Nine balls a-grabbin',
  • Eight How-you-doin's,
  • Seven Piazza jerseys,
  • Six Sergio Tacchinis,
  • Five pinky rings!
  • Four fresh cannolis,
  • All tree Godfadda's,
  • Two guinea tees,
  • And a ride in his IROC-Z.

When Natalie Cole performed the song, the final four verses were changed to express her disgust for receiving all those gifts. Cole's version is as follows:

  • When Cole sings "Nine drummers drumming," she is suddenly interrupted by the sound of marching-band drums playing. When the drums stop playing, she replies in spoken form: "...and all that other stuff. You know what I'm talking about." None of the other items are mentioned here. Instead, the song immediately segues into the next verse, using a small part of the Jeopardy! theme.
  • Cole's disgust becomes more obvious in the "Ten pipers piping" verse. She asks: "What am I gonna do with all of them? I think this is quite enough, already." As before, the preceding items are omitted.
  • In the "Eleven ladies dancing" verse, a Broadway-style interlude plays, and Cole commands: "Girls, please stop and sit down!" Once again, Cole makes no mention of the previous items.
  • In the final verse, a horn section is heard playing the "Twelve lords a-leaping" line. Cole actually adds up the previous items in the song, thus singing the following lines in order:
    • 22 ladies dancing,
    • 30 pipers piping,
    • 36 drummers drumming,
    • 40 maids a-milking,
    • 42 swans a-swimming,
    • 42 geese a-laying,
    • 40 golden rings!
    • 36 calling birds,
    • 30 French hens,
    • 22 turtledoves,
    • And 12 partridges in 12 pear trees!
  • After the song ends, Cole quips: "I am so out of here! I mean, whatever happened to diamonds, pearls, rubies, sapphires, shoes, clothes, a car? I think I need a new boyfriend!"

Supporters of Manchester United Football Club sing a chant based on the Twelve Days of Christmas in which every present is replaced by the name of former team member Eric Cantona.

The chants are as follows:

  • 12 Cantonas
  • 11 Cantonas
  • 10 Cantonas
  • 9 Cantonas
  • 8 Cantonas
  • 7 Cantonas
  • 6 Cantonas
  • 5 Cantonas
  • 4 Cantonas
  • 3 Cantonas
  • 2 Cantonas
  • and an Eric Cantona!

This emphasises the god-like status which Eric Cantona still retains on the terraces of Old Trafford.

 

In the 1970s, Charles M. Schulz, creator of the Peanuts comic strip, and Hallmark Greeting Cards released a songbook called "The Peanuts Book Of Pumpkin Carols" with Linus on the front cover. It contained several Halloween-themed parodies of Christmas songs, including "The Twelve Days Of Halloween", in which the gifts were:

  • 12 bats a-flying
  • 11 masks a-leering
  • 10 ghouls a-groaning
  • 9 ghosts a-booing
  • 8 monsters shrieking
  • 7 pumpkins glowing
  • 6 goblins gobling
  • 5 scarey spooks
  • 4 skeletons
  • 3 black cats
  • 2 trick-or-treaters
  • and an owl in a dead tree

In 2006 Janice Dickinson debuted The Twelve Days of Janice on her holiday-themed special episode of The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency, Christmas with the Dickinsons. Janice received from her true love:

  • Twelve boyfriends begging
  • Eleven (criminal) charges pending
  • Ten gays a-primping
  • Nine models prancing
  • Eight techs a-waxing
  • Seven docs injecting (botox)
  • Six paparazzi
  • Five naked men
  • Four Italian suits
  • Three former husbands
  • Two giant breasts
  • And a fledgling modeling agency

The John Boy and Billy Big Show on syndicated radio has had several comic variations, and one notable version is on the Big Ol' Hairy Christmas album, released in 2005, performed by one of Jeff Pillars's characters, part-time receptionist Phil McCracken. "The Twelve Gays of Christmas" is in the usual "Twelve Days" sequence, without musical accompaniment, and with "On the [ordinal number] gay of Christmas, my boyfriend gave to me" as the first lines of each verse. The gifts are as follows:

  • Twelve Chippendales stripping
  • Eleven Thighmasters
  • Ten catty comments
  • Nine show-tune albums
  • Eight trips to Tarjay (Contributor doesn't know what's being referred to)
  • Seven hands a-spanking
  • Six playful gooses
  • Five nipple rings
  • Four blonde jokes
  • Three straight people
  • Two Mini Coopers
  • A picture of Dale Jr. in a thong

At one point, Phil sings "Dale Jr. in a teddy(?)," having "changed [his] mind," but reverts to "thong" in the very next verse because he changes it again. He has time after each verse to comment.

Cost

As a tongue-in-cheek economic indicator, each year economists will compute the cost for all the gifts mentioned in the song. For 2005, the survey by PNC Advisors showed a 9.50% increase over 2004. It breaks down to:

  • One Partridge in a Pear Tree: $104.99 ($15.00 Partridge, $89.99 Pear Tree)
  • Two Turtle Doves: $40.00 ($20.00 each)
  • Three French Hens: $45.00 ($15.00 each)
  • Four Calling Birds: $399.96 ($99.99 each)
  • Five Gold Rings: $325.00 ($65.00 each)
  • Six Geese-a-Laying: $300.00 ($50.00 each)
  • Seven Swans-a-Swimming: $4,200.00 ($600.00 each)
  • Eight Maids-a-Milking: $41.20 ($5.15 each)
  • Nine Ladies Dancing: $4,576.14 ($508.46 each)
  • Ten Lords-a-Leaping: $4,039.08 ($403.91 each)
  • Eleven Pipers Piping: $2,053.20 ($186.66 each)
  • Twelve Drummers Drumming: $2,224.30 ($185.36 each)

Total Christmas Price Index: $18,348.87
"Core" index, excluding swans: $14,148.87
True cost of Christmas in song: $72,608.02 (including 364 total gifts)
In 2006, the indices — now in their 22nd year — reached their highest values ever. The "total" index rose to $18,920.59, or 3.1 percent above 2005, while the "true cost" index climbed 3.5 percent to $75,122.03. The "core" index added 4.0 percent to $14,720.59.[1]

In a nod to modern shopping trends, the annual report includes an Internet component. If the gifts were entirely purchased online, the total cost escalates to $30,330.49 (3.4 percent higher than 2005), and the true cost reaches $125,767.32 (1.6 percent higher).

TV Special

In 1987, Romeo Muller produced one of his final Christmas specials, the animated cartoon in which the arrogant knight Sir Carolboomer is trying to win the heart of a hard-to-please princess. Her father the king has promised to give her hand in marriage to whoever can make her laugh. Sir Carolboomer hopes to do so by giving her the things she wants for Christmas, but his squire, Holly Berry, accidentally snitches the list with the answers to the king's crossword puzzle. Sir Carolboomer sends Holly Berry to find and deliver the outlandish gifts. When he brings the twelve lords, he puts jalepeno peppers in their boots, causing them to leap into a river and making the princess laugh. She agrees to marry - Squire Holly Berry, who actually brought the gifts.

References

  • Christmas. Catholic Encyclopedia. Retrieved on December 22, 2005. See especially the subhead Popular Merrymaking under Liturgy and Custom.
  • True cost of Christmas: $18,348.87. MSN Money. Retrieved on December 22, 2005.
  • Hoh, John L., Jr. 12 Days of Christmas: A Carol Catechism. Vancouver, BC: Suite 101 eBooks, 2001 (http://www.north46.com/twelvedaysofchristmas.html)

External links

Wikisource has original text related to this article:
The Twelve Days of Christmas
  • An example of the symbolic interpretation and the related story at The Christian Resource Institute
  • The Twelve Holy Days from New Age Bible Interpretation, Vol. VII Mystery of the Christos by Corinne Heline.
  • An examination of the secret meaning story at Snopes.com
  • The Twelve Days Of Christmas (Full Song)
  • The True Cost of "The Twelve Days of Christmas"
Retrieved from "http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twelve_Days_of_Christmas"