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thought I again, is no such great matter; and I shall see in a few days
how he carries it.--But then, when I again reflected upon this distance
between him and me, and his now open declaration of love, as he called
it; and that after this he would talk with me on that subject more
plainly than ever, and I shall be less armed, may be, to withstand him;
and then I bethought myself, why, if he meant no dishonour, he should not
speak before Mrs. Jervis; and the odious frightful closet came again into
my head, and my narrow escape upon it; and how easy it might be for him
to send Mrs. Jervis and the maids out of the way; and so that all the
mischief he designed me might be brought about in less than that time; I
resolved to go away and trust all to Providence, and nothing to myself.
And how ought I to be thankful for this resolution!--as you shall hear.
But just as I have writ to this place, John sends me word, that he is
going this minute your way; and so I will send you so far as I have
written, and hope by to-morrow night, to ask your blessings, at your own
poor, but happy abode, and tell you the rest by word of mouth; and so I
rest, till then, and for ever, Your dutiful DAUGHTER.
LETTER XXXI
DEAR FATHER AND MOTHER,
I will continue my writing still, because, may be, I shall like to read
it, when I am with you, to see what dangers I have been enabled to
escape; and though I bring it along with me.
I told you my resolution, my happy resolution as I have reason to think
it: and just then he came in again, with great kindness in his looks, and
said, I make no doubt, Pamela, you will stay this fortnight to oblige me.
I knew not how to frame my words so as to deny, and yet not make him
storm. But, said I, Forgive, sir, your poor distressed servant. I know
I cannot possibly deserve any favour at your hands, consistent with
virtue; and I beg you will let me go to my poor father. Why, said he,
thou art the veriest fool that I ever knew. I tell you I will see your
father; I'll send for him hither to-morrow, in my travelling chariot, if
you will; and I'll let him know what I intend to do for him and you.
What, sir, may I ask you, can that be? Your honour's noble estate may
easily make him happy, and not unuseful, perhaps to you, in some respect
or other. But what price am I to pay for all this?--Yon shall be happy
as you can wish, said he, I do assure you: And here I will now give you
this purse, in which are fifty guineas, which I will allow your father
yearly, and find an employ suitable to his liking, to deserve that and
more: Pamela, he shall never want, depend upon it. I would have given
you still more for him, but that, perhaps, you'd suspect I intended it as
a design upon you.--O sir, said I, take back your guineas! I will not
touch one, nor will my father, I am sure, till he knows what is to be
done for them; and particularly what is to become of me. Why then,
Pamela, said he, suppose I find a man of probity, and genteel calling,
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