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--O good sir, said I, spare a
poor girl that cannot look up to you, and speak. My heart is full; and
why should you wish to undo me?--Only oblige me, said he, to stay a
fortnight longer, and John shall carry word to your father, that I will
see him in the time, either here, or at the Swan in his village. O sir,
said I, my heart will burst; but, on my bended knees, I beg you to let me
go to-morrow, as I designed: and don't offer to tempt a poor creature,
whose whole will would be to do yours, if my virtue would permit!--I
shall permit it, said he; for I intend no injury to you, God is my
witness! Impossible! said I; I cannot, sir, believe you, after what has
passed: How many ways are there to undo poor creatures! Good God,
protect me this one time, and send me but to my dear father's cot in
safety!--Strange, d----d fate! said he, that when I speak so solemnly, I
can't be believed!--What should I believe, sir? said I, what can I
believe? What have you said, but that I am to stay a fortnight longer?
and what then is to become of me?--My pride of birth and fortune (d--n
them both! said he, since they cannot obtain credit with you, but must
add to your suspicions) will not let me descend all at once; and I ask
you but a fortnight's stay, that, after this declaration, I may pacify
those proud demands upon me.
O how my heart throbbed! and I began (for I did not know what I did) to
say the Lord's prayer. None of your beads to me Pamela! said he; thou
art a perfect nun, I think.
But I said aloud, with my eyes lifted up to heaven, Lead me not into
temptation: but deliver me from evil, O my good God! He hugged me in his
arms, and said, Well, my dear girl, then you stay this fortnight, and you
shall see what I will do for you--I'll leave you a moment, and walk into
the next room, to give you time to think of it, and to shew you I have no
design upon you. Well, this, I thought, did not look amiss.
He went out, and I was tortured with twenty different doubts in a minute;
sometimes I thought that to stay a week or fortnight longer in this house
to obey him, while Mrs. Jervis was with me, could do no great harm: But
then, thought I, how do I know what I may be able to do? I have
withstood his anger; but may I not relent at his kindness?--How shall I
stand that.--Well, I hope, thought I, by the same protecting grace in
which I will always confide!--But, then, what has he promised? Why, he
will make my poor father and mother's life comfortable. O! said I to
myself, that is a rich thought; but let me not dwell upon it, for fear I
should indulge it to my ruin.--What can he do for me, poor girl as I am!
--What can his greatness stoop to! He talks, thought I, of his pride of
heart, and pride of condition; O these are in his head, and in his heart
too, or he would not confess them to me at such an instant. Well then,
thought I, this can be only to seduce me.--He has promised nothing.--But
I am to see what he will do, if I stay a fortnight; and this fortnight,
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