Previous  - next

Strange
things I have to tell you, that happened since last night, that good Mr.
Jonathan's letter, and my master's harshness, put me into such a fluster;
but I will not keep you in suspense.

I went to Mrs. Jervis's chamber; and, O dreadful! my wicked master had
hid himself, base gentleman as he is! in her closet, where she has a few
books, and chest of drawers, and such like. I little suspected it;
though I used, till this sad night, always to look into that closet and
another in the room, and under the bed, ever since the summer-house
trick; but never found any thing; and so I did not do it then, being
fully resolved to be angry with Mrs. Jervis for what had happened in the
day, and so thought of nothing else.

I sat myself down on one side of the bed, and she on the other, and we
began to undress ourselves; but she on that side next the wicked closet,
that held the worst heart in the world. So, said Mrs. Jervis, you won't
speak to me, Pamela! I find you are angry with me. Why, Mrs. Jervis,
said I, so I am, a little; 'tis a folly to deny it. You see what I have
suffered by your forcing me in to my master: and a gentlewoman of your
years and experience must needs know, that it was not fit for me to
pretend to be any body else for my own sake, nor with regard to my
master.

But, said she, who would have thought it would have turned out so? Ay,
said I, little thinking who heard me, Lucifer always is ready to promote
his own work and workmen. You see presently what use he made of it,
pretending not to know me, on purpose to be free with me. And when he
took upon himself to know me, to quarrel with me, and use me hardly: And
you too, said I, to cry, Fie, fie, Pamela! cut me to the heart: for that
encouraged him.

Do you think, my dear, said she, that I would encourage him?--I never
said so to you before; but, since you have forced it from me, I must tell
you, that, ever since you consulted me, I have used my utmost endeavours
to divert him from his wicked purposes: and he has promised fair; but, to
say all in a word, he doats upon you; and I begin to see it is not in his
power to help it.

I luckily said nothing of the note from Mr. Jonathan; for I began to
suspect all the world almost: but I said, to try Mrs. Jervis, Well then,
what would you have me do? You see he is for having me wait on Lady
Davers now.

Why, I'll tell you freely, my dear Pamela, said she, and I trust to your
discretion to conceal what I say: my master has been often desiring me to
put you upon asking him to let you stay----

Yes, said I, Mrs. Jervis, let me interrupt you: I will tell you why I
could not think of that: It was not the pride of my heart, but the pride
of my honesty: For what must have been the case? Here my master has been
very rude to me, once and twice; and you say he cannot help it, though he
pretends to be sorry for it: Well, he has given me warning to leave my
place, and uses me very harshly; perhaps to frighten me to his purposes,
as he supposes I would be fond of staying (as indeed I should, if I could

Previous  - next