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when I am gone, and so must get no ill will.
She has been at me again to ask to stay, and humble myself. But what
have I done, Mrs. Jervis? said I: If I have been a sauce-box, and a bold-
face, and a pert, and a creature, as he calls me, have I not had reason?
Do you think I should ever have forgot myself, if he had not forgot to
act as my master? Tell me from your own heart, dear Mrs. Jervis, said I,
if you think I could stay and be safe: What would you think, or how would
you act in my case?
My dear Pamela, said she, and kissed me, I don't know how I should act,
or what I should think. I hope I should act as you do. But I know
nobody else that would. My master is a fine gentleman; he has a great
deal of wit and sense, and is admired, as I know, by half a dozen ladies,
who would think themselves happy in his addresses. He has a noble
estate; and yet I believe he loves my good maiden, though his servant,
better than all the ladies in the land; and he has tried to overcome it,
because you are so much his inferior; and 'tis my opinion he finds he
can't; and that vexes his proud heart, and makes him resolve you shan't
stay; and so he speaks so cross to you, when he sees you by accident.
Well, but, Mrs. Jervis, said I, let me ask you, if he can stoop to like
such a poor girl as me, as perhaps he may, (for I have read of things
almost as strange, from great men to poor damsels,) What can it be for?--
He may condescend, perhaps, to think I may be good enough for his harlot;
and those things don't disgrace men that ruin poor women, as the world
goes. And so if I was wicked enough, he would keep me till I was undone,
and till his mind changed; for even wicked men, I have read, soon grow
weary of wickedness with the same person, and love variety. Well, then,
poor Pamela must be turned off, and looked upon as a vile abandoned
creature, and every body would despise her; ay, and justly too, Mrs.
Jervis; for she that can't keep her virtue, ought to live in disgrace.
But, Mrs. Jervis, I continued, let me tell you, that I hope, if I was
sure he would always be kind to me, and never turn me off at all, that I
shall have so much grace, as to hate and withstand his temptations, were
he not only my master, but my king: and that for the sin's sake. This my
poor dear parents have always taught me; and I should be a sad wicked
creature indeed, if, for the sake of riches or favour, I should forfeit
my good name; yea, and worse than any other young body of my sex; because
I can so contentedly return to my poverty again, and think it a less
disgrace to be obliged to wear rags, and live upon rye-bread and water,
as I used to do, than to be a harlot to the greatest man in the world.
Mrs. Jervis lifted up her hands, and had her eyes full of tears. God
bless you, my dear love! said she; you are my admiration and delight.--
How shall I do to part with you!
Well, good Mrs. Jervis, said I, let me ask you now:--You and he have had
some talk, and you mayn't be suffered to tell me all.
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