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himself to pronounce the Emperor Julian's eulogium for his apostasy,
and his philanthropic efforts to eradicate all traces of the gospel
from the face of the earth.

Apprehending that he had thus given too severe a shock to my
opinions, he then asked my pardon, attempting to excuse himself upon
the ground of PERFECT SINCERITY. Reiterating his extreme wish to
enter into more friendly relations with me, he then bade me
farewell.

In a postscript he added:- "I have no sort of scruples, except a
fear of not having made myself sufficiently understood. I ought not
to conceal that to me the Christian language which you employ,
appears a mere mask to conceal your real opinions. I wish it may be
so; and in this case, throw off your cloak, as I have set you an
example."

I cannot describe the effect this letter had upon me. I had opened
it full of hope and ardour. Suddenly an icy hand seemed to chill
the life-blood of my heart. That sarcasm on my conscientiousness
hurt me extremely. I repented having formed any acquaintance with
such a man, I who so much detest the doctrine of the cynics, who
consider it so wholly unphilosophical, and the most injurious in its
tendency: I who despise all kind of arrogance as it deserves.

Having read the last word it contained, I took the letter in both my
hands, and tearing it directly down the middle, I held up a half in
each like an executioner, employed in exposing it to public scorn.



CHAPTER XXXVII.



I kept my eye fixed on the fragments, meditating for a moment upon
the inconstancy and fallacy of human things I had just before
eagerly desired to obtain, that which I now tore with disdain. I
had hoped to have found a companion in misfortune, and how I should
have valued his friendship! Now I gave him all kinds of hard names,
insolent, arrogant, atheist, and self-condemned.

I repeated the same operation, dividing the wretched members of the
guilty letter again and again, till happening to cast my eye on a
piece remaining in my hand, expressing some better sentiment, I
changed my intention, and collecting together the disjecta membra,
ingeniously pieced them with the view of reading it once more. I
sat down, placed them on my great Bible, and examined the whole. I
then got up, walked about, read, and thought, "If I do not answer,"
said I, "he will think he has terrified me at the mere appearance of
such a philosophical hero, a very Hercules in his own estimation.
Let us show him, with all due courtesy, that we fear not to confront
him and his vicious doctrines, any more than to brave the risk of a
correspondence, more dangerous to others than to ourselves. I will
teach him that true courage does not consist in ridiculing
CONSCIENCE, and that real dignity does not consist in arrogance and
pride. He shall be taught the reasonableness of Christianity, and
the nothingness of disbelief.

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