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I
advised him at the same time to reflect seriously upon the subject,
and to express clearly with what degree of tranquillity, or of
anxiety, he was prepared to engage, in it. Moreover, if, upon
reconsideration, he considered the plan as too dangerous, we ought
to have firmness enough to renounce the satisfaction we promised
ourselves in such a correspondence, and rest satisfied with the
acquaintance we had formed, the mutual pleasure we had already
derived, and the unalterable goodwill we felt towards each other,
which resulted from it. I filled four pages with my explanations,
and expressions of the warmest friendship; I briefly alluded to the
subject of my imprisonment; I spoke of my family with enthusiastic
love, as well as of some of my friends, and attempted to draw a full
picture of my mind and character.
In the evening I sent the letter. I had not slept during the
preceding night; I was completely exhausted, and I soon fell into a
profound sleep, from which I awoke on the ensuing morning, refreshed
and comparatively happy. I was in hourly expectation of receiving
my new friend's answer, and I felt at once anxious and pleased at
the idea.
CHAPTER XXXVI.
The answer was brought with my coffee. I welcomed Tremerello, and,
embracing him, exclaimed, "May God reward you for this goodness!"
My suspicions had fled, because they were hateful to me; and
because, making a point of never speaking imprudently upon politics,
they appeared equally useless; and because, with all my admiration
for the genius of Tacitus, I had never much faith in the justice of
TACITISING as he does, and of looking upon every object on the dark
side. Giuliano (as the writer signed himself), began his letter
with the usual compliments, and informed me that he felt not the
least anxiety in entering upon the correspondence. He rallied me
upon my hesitation; occasionally assumed a tone of irony; and then
more seriously declared that it had given him no little pain to
observe in me "a certain scrupulous wavering, and a subtilty of
conscience, which, however Christian-like, was little in accordance
with true philosophy." "I shall continue to esteem you," he added,
"though we should not agree upon that point; for I am bound, in all
sincerity, to inform you, that I have no religion, that I abhor all
creeds, and that I assume from a feeling of modesty the name of
Julian, from the circumstance of that good emperor having been so
decided an enemy of the Christians, though, in fact, I go much
further than he ever did. The sceptred Julian believed in God, and
had his own little superstitions. I have none; I believe not in a
God, but refer all virtue to the love of truth, and the hatred of
such as do not please me." There was no reasoning in what he said.
He inveighed bitterly against Christianity, made an idol of worldly
honour and virtue; and in a half serious and jocular vein took on
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