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fallen into ignominy?
While thus reasoning, I was frequently tempted to raise my voice and
speak, as a brother in misfortune, to poor Maddalene. I had often
even got out the first syllable; and how strange! I felt my heart
beat like an enamoured youth of fifteen; I who had reached thirty-
one; and it seemed as if I should never be able to pronounce the
name, till I cried out almost in a rage, "Mad! Mad!" yes, mad
enough, thought I.
CHAPTER XII.
Thus ended my romance with that poor unhappy one; yet it did not
fail to produce me many sweet sensations during several weeks.
Often, when steeped in melancholy, would her sweet calm voice
breathe consolation to my spirit; when, dwelling on the meanness and
ingratitude of mankind, I became irritated, and hated the world, the
voice of Maddalene gently led me back to feelings of compassion and
indulgence.
How I wish, poor, unknown, kind-hearted repentant one, that no heavy
punishment may befall thee. And whatever thou shalt suffer, may it
well avail thee, re-dignify thy nature, and teach thee to live and
die to thy Saviour and thy Lord. Mayest thou meet compassion and
respect from all around thee, as thou didst from me a stranger to
thee. Mayest thou teach all who see thee thy gentle lesson of
patience, sweetness, the love of virtue, and faith in God, with
which thou didst inspire him who loved without having beheld thee.
Perhaps I erred in thinking thee beautiful, but, sure I am, thou
didst wear the beauty of the soul. Thy conversation, though spoken
amidst grossness and corruption of every kind, was ever chaste and
graceful; whilst others imprecated, thou didst bless; when eager in
contention, thy sweet voice still pacified, like oil upon the
troubled waters. If any noble mind hath read thy worth, and
snatched thee from an evil career; hath assisted thee with delicacy,
and wiped the tears from thy eyes, may every reward heaven can give
be his portion, that of his children, and of his children's
children!
Next to mine was another prison occupied by several men. I also
heard THEIR conversation. One seemed of superior authority, not so
much probably from any difference of rank, as owing to greater
eloquence and boldness. He played, what may musically be termed,
the first fiddle. He stormed himself, yet put to silence those who
presumed to quarrel by his imperious voice. He dictated the tone of
the society, and after some feeble efforts to throw off his
authority they submitted, and gave the reins into his hands.
There was not a single one of those unhappy men who had a touch of
that in him to soften the harshness of prison hours, to express one
kindly sentiment, one emanation of religion, or of love. The chief
of these neighbours of mine saluted me, and I replied. He asked me
how I contrived to pass such a cursed dull life? I answered, that
it was melancholy, to be sure; but no life was a cursed one to me,
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