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At last, at the end of the street, I perceived a hackney-coach;
we got into it, but when the coachman asked whither he should
drive, I was scarcely able to answer him. I had no certain
asylum--no confidential friend to whom I could have recourse. I
was almost destitute of money, having but one dollar left in my
purse. Fright and fatigue had so unnerved Manon, that she was
almost fainting at my side. My imagination too was full of the
murder of Lescaut, and I was not without strong apprehensions of
the patrol. What was to be done? I luckily remembered the inn
at Chaillot, where we first went to reside in that village. I
hoped to be not only secure, but to continue there for some time
without being pressed for payment. `Take us to Chaillot,' said I
to the coachman. He refused to drive us so far at that late hour
for less than twelve francs. A new embarrassment! At last we
agreed for half that sum--all that my purse contained.
"I tried to console Manon as we went along, but despair was
rankling in my own heart. I should have destroyed myself a
thousand times over, if I had not felt that I held in my arms all
that could attach me to life: this reflection reconciled me. `I
possess her at least,' said I; `she loves me! she is mine!
Vainly does Tiberge call this a mere phantom of happiness.' I
could, without feeling interest or emotion, see the whole world
besides perish around me. Why? Because I have in it no object
of affection beyond her.
"This sentiment was true; however, while I so lightly esteemed
the good things of the world, I felt that there was no doing
without some little portion of them, were it only to inspire a
more thorough contempt for the remainder. Love is more powerful
than wealth--more attractive than grandeur or fame; but, alas! it
cannot exist without certain artificial aids; and there is
nothing more humiliating to the feelings, of a sensitive lover,
than to find himself, by want of means, reduced to the level of
the most vulgar minds.
"It was eleven o'clock when we arrived at Chaillot. They
received us at the inn as old acquaintances, and expressed no
sort of surprise at seeing Manon in male attire, for it was the
custom in Paris and the environs to adopt all disguises. I took
care to have her served with as much attention as if I had been
in prosperous circumstances. She was ignorant of my poverty, and
I carefully kept her so, being resolved to return alone the
following day to Paris, to seek some cure for this vexatious kind
of malady.
"At supper she appeared pale and thin; I had not observed this
at the Hospital, as the room in which I saw her was badly
lighted. I asked her if the excessive paleness were not caused
by the shock of witnessing her brother's death? She assured me
that, horrified as she naturally was at the event, her paleness
was purely the effect of a three months' absence from me. `You
do love me then devotedly?' I exclaimed.
"`A thousand times more than I can tell!' was her reply.
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