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become thus degraded? Love is not a guilty passion! why then has
it been to me the source of profligacy and distress? Who
prevented me from leading a virtuous and tranquil life with
Manon? Why did I not marry her before I obtained any concession
from her love? Would not my father, who had the tenderest regard
for me, have given his consent, if I had taken the fair and
candid course of soliciting him? Yes, my father would himself
have cherished her as one far too good to be his son's wife! I
should have been happy in the love of Manon, in the affection of
my father, in the esteem of the world, with a moderate portion of
the good things of life, and above all with the consciousness of
virtue. Disastrous change! Into what an infamous character is
it here proposed that I should sink? To share---- But can I
hesitate, if Manon herself suggests it, and if I am to lose her
except upon such conditions? `Lescaut,' said I, putting my hands
to my eyes as if to shut out such a horrifying vision, `if your
intention was to render me a service, I give you thanks. You
might perhaps have struck out a more reputable course, but it is
so settled, is it not? Let us then only think of profiting by
your labour, and fulfilling your engagements.'

"Lescaut, who had been considerably embarrassed, not only by my
fury, but by the long silence which followed it, was too happy to
see me now take a course so different from what he had
anticipated. He had not a particle of courage, of which indeed I
have, in the sequel of my story, abundant proof. `Yes, yes,' he
quickly answered, `it is good service I have rendered you, and
you will find that we shall derive infinitely more advantage from
it than you now expect.' We consulted then as to the best mode
of preventing the suspicions which G---- M---- might entertain of
our relationship, when he found me older and of riper manhood
than he probably imagined. The only plan we could hit upon was
to assume in his presence an innocent and provincial air, and to
persuade him that it was my intention to enter the Church, and
that with that view I was obliged to go every day to the college.
We also determined that I should appear as awkward as I possibly
could the first time I was admitted to the honour of an
introduction.

"He returned to town three or four days after, and at once
conducted Manon to the house which his steward had in the
meantime prepared. She immediately apprised Lescaut of her
return, and he having informed me, we went together to her new
abode. The old lover had already gone out.

"In spite of the submission with which I had resigned myself to
her wishes, I could not, at our meeting, repress the compunctious
visitings of my conscience. I appeared before her grieved and
dejected. The joy I felt at seeing her once more could not
altogether dispel my sorrow for her infidelity: she, on the
contrary, appeared transported with the pleasure of seeing me.
She accused me of coldness.

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