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are liable to change; one passion gives them birth, another may
destroy them; but when I reflect upon the sacredness of those
motives that led me to St. Sulpice, and upon the heartfelt
satisfaction I enjoyed while obeying their dictation, I shudder
at the facility with which I outraged them all. If it be true
that the benign succour afforded by Heaven is at all times equal
to the strongest of man's pinions, I shall be glad to learn the
nature of the deplorable ascendancy which causes us suddenly to
swerve from the path of duty, without the power of offering the
least resistance, and without even the slightest visitation of
remorse.
"I now thought myself entirely safe from the dangers of love. I
fancied that I could have preferred a single page of St.
Augustine, or a quarter of an hour of Christian meditation, to
every sensual gratification, not excepting any that I might have
derived even from Manon's society. Nevertheless, one unlucky
moment plunged me again headlong into the gulf; and my ruin was
the more irreparable, because, falling at once to the same depth
from whence I had been before rescued, each of the new disorders
into which I now lapsed carried me deeper and deeper still down
the profound abyss of vice. I had passed nearly a year at Paris
without hearing of Manon. It cost me no slight effort to abstain
from enquiry; but the unintermitting advice of Tiberge, and my
own reflections, secured this victory over my wishes. The last
months glided away so tranquilly, that I considered the memory of
this charming but treacherous creature about to be consigned to
eternal oblivion.
"The time arrived when I was to undergo a public examination in
the class of theology: I invited several persons of
consideration to honour me with their presence on the occasion.
My name was mentioned in every quarter of Paris: it even reached
the ears of her who had betrayed me. She had some difficulty in
recognising it with the prefix of Abbe; but curiosity, or perhaps
remorse for having been faithless to me (I could never after
ascertain by which of these feelings she was actuated), made her
at once take an interest in a name so like mine; and she came
with several other women to the Sorbonne, where she was present
at my examination, and had doubtless little trouble in
recognising my person.
"I had not the remotest suspicion of her presence. It is well
known that in these places there are private seats for ladies,
where they remain screened by a curtain. I returned to St.
Sulpice covered with honours and congratulations. It was six in
the evening. The moment I returned, a lady was announced, who
desired to speak with me. I went to meet her. Heavens! what a
surprise!
"It was Manon. It was she indeed, but more bewitching and
brilliant than I had ever beheld her. She was now in her
eighteenth year. Her beauty beggars all description. The
exquisite grace of her form, the mild sweetness of expression
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