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to be utterly unable to proceed to our apartment; and was obliged
to leave the house, under the pretext of an appointment. I
desired the girl, therefore, to let her mistress know that I
should return in a few minutes, but on no account to say that she
had spoken to me of M. de B----.
"My horror was so great, that I shed tears as I went along,
hardly knowing from what feeling they flowed. I entered a
coffee-house close by, and placing myself at a table, I buried my
face between my hands, as though I would turn my eyes inward to
ascertain what was passing in my heart. Still, I dared not
recall what I had heard the moment before. I strove to look upon
it as a dream; and was more than once on the point of returning
to my lodgings, determined to attach no importance to what I had
heard.
"It appeared to me so impossible that Manon could have been
unfaithful, that I feared even to wrong her by a suspicion. I
adored her--that was too certain; I had not on my part given her
more proofs of my love than I had received of hers; why then
should I charge her with being less sincere and constant than
myself? What reason could she have to deceive me? Not three
hours before, she had lavished upon me the most tender caresses,
and had received mine with transport: I knew her heart as
thoroughly as my own. `No, no!' I said, `it is not possible that
Manon can have deceived me. She well knows that I live but for
her; that I adore her: upon that point I can have no reason to be
unhappy.'
"Notwithstanding these reflections, the visit of M. de B----,
and his secret departure, gave me some uneasiness. I remembered,
too, the little purchases she had lately made, which seemed
beyond our present means. This looked like the liberality of a
new lover. And the confidence with which she had foretold
resources which were to me unknown? I had some difficulty in
solving these mysteries in as favourable a manner as my heart
desired.
"On the other hand, she had been hardly out of my sight since we
entered Paris. However occupied, in our walks, in all our
amusements, she was ever at my side. Heavens! even a momentary
separation would have been too painful. I could not therefore
imagine how Manon could, to any other person, have devoted a
single instant.
"At last I thought I had discovered a clue to the mystery. `M.
de B----' said I to myself, `is a man extensively engaged in
commercial affairs; and Manon's relations have no doubt remitted
her money through his house. She has probably already received
some from him, and he is come today to bring her more. She
wishes, perhaps, to derive amusement by and by, from an agreeable
surprise, by keeping me at present in the dark. She would
doubtless have at once told me all, if I had gone in as usual,
instead of coming here to distress myself: at all events, she
will not conceal it from me when I broach the subject myself.'
"I cherished this idea so willingly, that it considerably
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