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'

'Nonsense!' said Mother Jaguar. 'Everything has its proper name.
I should call it "Armadillo" till I found out the real one. And I
should leave it alone.'

So Painted Jaguar did as he was told, especially about leaving
them alone; but the curious thing is that from that day to this,
O Best Beloved, no one on the banks of the turbid Amazon has ever
called Stickly-Prickly and Slow-Solid anything except Armadillo.
There are Hedgehogs and Tortoises in other places, of course
(there are some in my garden); but the real old and clever kind,
with their scales lying lippety-lappety one over the other, like
pine-cone scales, that lived on the banks of the turbid Amazon in
the High and Far-Off Days, are always called Armadillos, because
they were so clever.

So that; all right, Best Beloved. Do you see?

I'VE never sailed the Amazon,
I've never reached Brazil;
But the Don and Magdelana,
They can go there when they will!

Yes, weekly from Southampton,
Great steamers, white and gold,
Go rolling down to Rio
(Roll down--roll down to Rio!)
And I'd like to roll to Rio
Some day before I'm old!

I've never seen a Jaguar,
Nor yet an Armadill
O dilloing in his armour,
And I s'pose I never will,

Unless I go to Rio
These wonders to behold--
Roll down--roll down to Rio--
Roll really down to Rio!
Oh, I'd love to roll to Rio
Some day before I'm old!




HOW THE FIRST LETTER WAS WRITTEN

ONCE upon a most early time was a Neolithic man. He was not a
Jute or an Angle, or even a Dravidian, which he might well have
been, Best Beloved, but never mind why. He was a Primitive, and
he lived cavily in a Cave, and he wore very few clothes, and he
couldn't read and he couldn't write and he didn't want to, and
except when he was hungry he was quite happy. His name was
Tegumai Bopsulai, and that means, 'Man-who-does-not-put-his-foot-
forward-in-a-hurry'; but we, O Best Beloved, will call him
Tegumai, for short. And his wife's name was Teshumai Tewindrow,
and that means, 'Lady-who-asks-a-very-many-questions'; but we, O
Best Beloved, will call her Teshumai, for short. And his little
girl-daughter's name was Taffimai Metallumai, and that means,
'Small-person-without-any-manners-who-ought-to-be-spanked'; but
I'm going to call her Taffy. And she was Tegumai Bopsulai's Best
Beloved and her own Mummy's Best Beloved, and she was not spanked
half as much as was good for her; and they were all three very
happy. As soon as Taffy could run about she went everywhere with
her Daddy Tegumai, and sometimes they would not come home to the
Cave till they were hungry, and then Teshumai Tewindrow would
say, 'Where in the world have you two been to, to get so shocking
dirty? Really, my Tegumai, you're no better than my Taffy.

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