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The reader may remember, that when I signed those articles upon
which I recovered my liberty, there were some which I disliked,
upon account of their being too servile; neither could anything but
an extreme necessity have forced me to submit. But being now a
nardac of the highest rank in that empire, such offices were looked
upon as below my dignity, and the emperor (to do him justice),
never once mentioned them to me. However, it was not long before I
had an opportunity of doing his majesty, at least as I then
thought, a most signal service. I was alarmed at midnight with the
cries of many hundred people at my door; by which, being suddenly
awaked, I was in some kind of terror. I heard the word Burglum
repeated incessantly: several of the emperor's court, making their
way through the crowd, entreated me to come immediately to the
palace, where her imperial majesty's apartment was on fire, by the
carelessness of a maid of honour, who fell asleep while she was
reading a romance. I got up in an instant; and orders being given
to clear the way before me, and it being likewise a moonshine
night, I made a shift to get to the palace without trampling on any
of the people. I found they had already applied ladders to the
walls of the apartment, and were well provided with buckets, but
the water was at some distance. These buckets were about the size
of large thimbles, and the poor people supplied me with them as
fast as they could: but the flame was so violent that they did
little good. I might easily have stifled it with my coat, which I
unfortunately left behind me for haste, and came away only in my
leathern jerkin. The case seemed wholly desperate and deplorable;
and this magnificent palace would have infallibly been burnt down
to the ground, if, by a presence of mind unusual to me, I had not
suddenly thought of an expedient. I had, the evening before, drunk
plentifully of a most delicious wine called glimigrim, (the
Blefuscudians call it flunec, but ours is esteemed the better
sort,) which is very diuretic. By the luckiest chance in the
world, I had not discharged myself of any part of it. The heat I
had contracted by coming very near the flames, and by labouring to
quench them, made the wine begin to operate by urine; which I
voided in such a quantity, and applied so well to the proper
places, that in three minutes the fire was wholly extinguished, and
the rest of that noble pile, which had cost so many ages in
erecting, preserved from destruction.

It was now day-light, and I returned to my house without waiting to
congratulate with the emperor: because, although I had done a very
eminent piece of service, yet I could not tell how his majesty
might resent the manner by which I had performed it: for, by the
fundamental laws of the realm, it is capital in any person, of what
quality soever, to make water within the precincts of the palace.
But I was a little comforted by a message from his majesty, "that

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