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is, blockhead, pro tibiis meis, and therefore I will carry it, Egomet,
sicut suppositum portat appositum. So did he carry it away very close and
covertly, as Patelin the buffoon did his cloth. The best was, that when
this cougher, in a full act or assembly held at the Mathurins, had with
great confidence required his breeches and sausages, and that they were
flatly denied him, because he had them of Gargantua, according to the
informations thereupon made, he showed them that this was gratis, and out
of his liberality, by which they were not in any sort quit of their
promises. Notwithstanding this, it was answered him that he should be
content with reason, without expectation of any other bribe there. Reason?
said Janotus. We use none of it here. Unlucky traitors, you are not worth
the hanging. The earth beareth not more arrant villains than you are. I
know it well enough; halt not before the lame. I have practised wickedness
with you. By God's rattle, I will inform the king of the enormous abuses
that are forged here and carried underhand by you, and let me be a leper,
if he do not burn you alive like sodomites, traitors, heretics and
seducers, enemies to God and virtue.

Upon these words they framed articles against him: he on the other side
warned them to appear. In sum, the process was retained by the court, and
is there as yet. Hereupon the magisters made a vow never to decrott
themselves in rubbing off the dirt of either their shoes or clothes:
Master Janotus with his adherents vowed never to blow or snuff their noses,
until judgment were given by a definitive sentence.

By these vows do they continue unto this time both dirty and snotty; for
the court hath not garbled, sifted, and fully looked into all the pieces as
yet. The judgment or decree shall be given out and pronounced at the next
Greek kalends, that is, never. As you know that they do more than nature,
and contrary to their own articles. The articles of Paris maintain that to
God alone belongs infinity, and nature produceth nothing that is immortal;
for she putteth an end and period to all things by her engendered,
according to the saying, Omnia orta cadunt, &c. But these thick
mist-swallowers make the suits in law depending before them both infinite
and immortal. In doing whereof, they have given occasion to, and verified
the saying of Chilo the Lacedaemonian, consecrated to the oracle at Delphos,
that misery is the inseparable companion of law-debates; and that pleaders
are miserable; for sooner shall they attain to the end of their lives, than
to the final decision of their pretended rights.



Chapter 1.XXI.

The study of Gargantua, according to the discipline of his schoolmasters
the Sophisters.

The first day being thus spent, and the bells put up again in their own
place, the citizens of Paris, in acknowledgment of this courtesy, offered
to maintain and feed his mare as long as he pleased, which Gargantua took

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