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mantelpiece and looks into it. Enter ALICE R.C.]

ALICE. A gentleman to see you, ma'am.

MRS. ARBUTHNOT. Say I am not at home. Show me the card. [Takes
card from salver and looks at it.] Say I will not see him.

[LORD ILLINGWORTH enters. MRS. ARBUTHNOT sees him in the glass and
starts, but does not turn round. Exit ALICE.] What can you have
to say to me to-day, George Harford? You can have nothing to say
to me. You must leave this house.

LORD ILLINGWORTH. Rachel, Gerald knows everything about you and me
now, so some arrangement must be come to that will suit us all
three. I assure you, he will find in me the most charming and
generous of fathers.

MRS. ARBUTHNOT. My son may come in at any moment. I saved you
last night. I may not be able to save you again. My son feels my
dishonour strongly, terribly strongly. I beg you to go.

LORD ILLINGWORTH. [Sitting down.] Last night was excessively
unfortunate. That silly Puritan girl making a scene merely because
I wanted to kiss her. What harm is there in a kiss?

MRS. ARBUTHNOT. [Turning round.] A kiss may ruin a human life,
George Harford. I know that. I know that too well.

LORD ILLINGWORTH. We won't discuss that at present. What is of
importance to-day, as yesterday, is still our son. I am extremely
fond of him, as you know, and odd though it may seem to you, I
admired his conduct last night immensely. He took up the cudgels
for that pretty prude with wonderful promptitude. He is just what
I should have liked a son of mine to be. Except that no son of
mine should ever take the side of the Puritans: that is always an
error. Now, what I propose is this.

MRS. ARBUTHNOT. Lord Illingworth, no proposition of yours
interests me.

LORD ILLINGWORTH. According to our ridiculous English laws, I
can't legitimise Gerald. But I can leave him my property.
Illingworth is entailed, of course, but it is a tedious barrack of
a place. He can have Ashby, which is much prettier, Harborough,
which has the best shooting in the north of England, and the house
in St. James Square. What more can a gentleman require in this
world?

MRS. ARBUTHNOT. Nothing more, I am quite sure.

LORD ILLINGWORTH. As for a title, a title is really rather a
nuisance in these democratic days. As George Harford I had
everything I wanted. Now I have merely everything that other
people want, which isn't nearly so pleasant. Well, my proposal is
this.

MRS. ARBUTHNOT. I told you I was not interested, and I beg you to
go.

LORD ILLINGWORTH. The boy is to be with you for six months in the
year, and with me for the other six. That is perfectly fair, is it
not? You can have whatever allowance you like, and live where you
choose. As for your past, no one knows anything about it except
myself and Gerald. There is the Puritan, of course, the Puritan in

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