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GERALD. But women are awfully clever, aren't they?

LORD ILLINGWORTH. One should always tell them so. But, to the
philosopher, my dear Gerald, women represent the triumph of matter
over mind - just as men represent the triumph of mind over morals.

GERALD. How then can women have so much power as you say they
have?

LORD ILLINGWORTH. The history of women is the history of the worst
form of tyranny the world has ever known. The tyranny of the weak
over the strong. It is the only tyranny that lasts.

GERALD. But haven't women got a refining influence?

LORD ILLINGWORTH. Nothing refines but the intellect.

GERALD. Still, there are many different kinds of women, aren't
there?

LORD ILLINGWORTH. Only two kinds in society: the plain and the
coloured.

GERALD. But there are good women in society, aren't there?

LORD ILLINGWORTH. Far too many.

GERALD. But do you think women shouldn't be good?

LORD ILLINGWORTH. One should never tell them so, they'd all become
good at once. Women are a fascinatingly wilful sex. Every woman
is a rebel, and usually in wild revolt against herself.

GERALD. You have never been married, Lord Illingworth, have you?

LORD ILLINGWORTH. Men marry because they are tired; women because
they are curious. Both are disappointed.

GERALD. But don't you think one can be happy when one is married?

LORD ILLINGWORTH. Perfectly happy. But the happiness of a married
man, my dear Gerald, depends on the people he has not married.

GERALD. But if one is in love?

LORD ILLINGWORTH. One should always be in love. That is the
reason one should never marry.

GERALD. Love is a very wonderful thing, isn't it?

LORD ILLINGWORTH. When one is in love one begins by deceiving
oneself. And one ends by deceiving others. That is what the world
calls a romance. But a really GRANDE PASSION is comparatively rare
nowadays. It is the privilege of people who have nothing to do.
That is the one use of the idle classes in a country, and the only
possible explanation of us Harfords.

GERALD. Harfords, Lord Illingworth?

LORD ILLINGWORTH. That is my family name. You should study the
Peerage, Gerald. It is the one book a young man about town should
know thoroughly, and it is the best thing in fiction the English
have ever done. And now, Gerald, you are going into a perfectly
new life with me, and I want you to know how to live. [MRS.
ARBUTHNOT appears on terrace behind.] For the world has been made
by fools that wise men should live in it!

[Enter L.C. LADY HUNSTANTON and DR. DAUBENY.]

LADY HUNSTANTON. Ah! here you are, dear Lord Illingworth. Well, I
suppose you have been telling our young friend, Gerald, what his
new duties are to be, and giving him a great deal of good advice
over a pleasant cigarette.

LORD ILLINGWORTH. I have been giving him the best of advice, Lady

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