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It is such a strain keeping
men up to the mark. They are always trying to escape from us.

LADY STUTFIELD. It seems to me that it is we who are always trying
to escape from them. Men are so very, very heartless. They know
their power and use it.

LADY CAROLINE. [Takes coffee from Servant.] What stuff and
nonsense all this about men is! The thing to do is to keep men in
their proper place.

MRS. ALLONBY. But what is their proper place, Lady Caroline?

LADY CAROLINE. Looking after their wives, Mrs. Allonby.

MRS. ALLONBY. [Takes coffee from Servant.] Really? And if
they're not married?

LADY CAROLINE. If they are not married, they should be looking
after a wife. It's perfectly scandalous the amount of bachelors
who are going about society. There should be a law passed to
compel them all to marry within twelve months.

LADY STUTFIELD. [Refuses coffee.] But if they're in love with
some one who, perhaps, is tied to another?

LADY CAROLINE. In that case, Lady Stutfield, they should be
married off in a week to some plain respectable girl, in order to
teach them not to meddle with other people's property.

MRS. ALLONBY. I don't think that we should ever be spoken of as
other people's property. All men are married women's property.
That is the only true definition of what married women's property
really is. But we don't belong to any one.

LADY STUTFIELD. Oh, I am so very, very glad to hear you say so.

LADY HUNSTANTON. But do you really think, dear Caroline, that
legislation would improve matters in any way? I am told that,
nowadays, all the married men live like bachelors, and all the
bachelors like married men.

MRS. ALLONBY. I certainly never know one from the other.

LADY STUTFIELD. Oh, I think one can always know at once whether a
man has home claims upon his life or not. I have noticed a very,
very sad expression in the eyes of so many married men.

MRS. ALLONBY. Ah, all that I have noticed is that they are
horribly tedious when they are good husbands, and abominably
conceited when they are not.

LADY HUNSTANTON. Well, I suppose the type of husband has
completely changed since my young days, but I'm bound to state that
poor dear Hunstanton was the most delightful of creatures, and as
good as gold.

MRS. ALLONBY. Ah, my husband is a sort of promissory note; I'm
tired of meeting him.

LADY CAROLINE. But you renew him from time to time, don't you?

MRS. ALLONBY. Oh no, Lady Caroline. I have only had one husband
as yet. I suppose you look upon me as quite an amateur.

LADY CAROLINE. With your views on life I wonder you married at
all.

MRS. ALLONBY. So do I.

LADY HUNSTANTON. My dear child, I believe you are really very
happy in your married life, but that you like to hide your
happiness from others.

MRS. ALLONBY. I assure you I was horribly deceived in Ernest.

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