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about the noblest writers, to which they are carried merely by
instinct, as a rat to the best cheese, or a wasp to the fairest
fruit. So when the king is a horseback he is sure to be the
dirtiest person of the company, and they that make their court best
are such as bespatter him most.
Lastly, a true critic in the perusal of a book is like a dog at a
feast, whose thoughts and stomach are wholly set upon what the
guests fling away, and consequently is apt to snarl most when there
are the fewest bones {89}.
Thus much I think is sufficient to serve by way of address to my
patrons, the true modern critics, and may very well atone for my
past silence, as well as that which I am like to observe for the
future. I hope I have deserved so well of their whole body as to
meet with generous and tender usage at their hands. Supported by
which expectation I go on boldly to pursue those adventures already
so happily begun.
SECTION IV.--A TALE OF A TUB.
I have now with much pains and study conducted the reader to a
period where he must expect to hear of great revolutions. For no
sooner had our learned brother, so often mentioned, got a warm house
of his own over his head, than he began to look big and to take
mightily upon him, insomuch that unless the gentle reader out of his
great candour will please a little to exalt his idea, I am afraid he
will henceforth hardly know the hero of the play when he happens to
meet him, his part, his dress, and his mien being so much altered.
He told his brothers he would have them to know that he was their
elder, and consequently his father's sole heir; nay, a while after,
he would not allow them to call him brother, but Mr. Peter; and then
he must be styled Father Peter, and sometimes My Lord Peter. To
support this grandeur, which he soon began to consider could not be
maintained without a better fonde than what he was born to, after
much thought he cast about at last to turn projector and virtuoso,
wherein he so well succeeded, that many famous discoveries,
projects, and machines which bear great vogue and practice at
present in the world, are owing entirely to Lord Peter's invention.
I will deduce the best account I have been able to collect of the
chief amongst them, without considering much the order they came out
in, because I think authors are not well agreed as to that point.
I hope when this treatise of mine shall be translated into foreign
languages (as I may without vanity affirm that the labour of
collecting, the faithfulness in recounting, and the great usefulness
of the matter to the public, will amply deserve that justice), that
of the several Academies abroad, especially those of France and
Italy, will favourably accept these humble offers for the
advancement of universal knowledge.
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