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They held the
universe to be a large suit of clothes which invests everything;
that the earth is invested by the air; the air is invested by the
stars; and the stars are invested by the Primum Mobile. Look on
this globe of earth, you will find it to be a very complete and
fashionable dress. What is that which some call land but a fine
coat faced with green, or the sea but a waistcoat of water-tabby?
Proceed to the particular works of the creation, you will find how
curious journeyman Nature hath been to trim up the vegetable beaux;
observe how sparkish a periwig adorns the head of a beech, and what
a fine doublet of white satin is worn by the birch. To conclude
from all, what is man himself but a microcoat, or rather a complete
suit of clothes with all its trimmings? As to his body there can be
no dispute, but examine even the acquirements of his mind, you will
find them all contribute in their order towards furnishing out an
exact dress. To instance no more, is not religion a cloak, honesty
a pair of shoes worn out in the dirt, self-love a surtout, vanity a
shirt, and conscience a pair of breeches, which, though a cover for
lewdness as well as nastiness, is easily slipped down for the
service of both.
These postulata being admitted, it will follow in due course of
reasoning that those beings which the world calls improperly suits
of clothes are in reality the most refined species of animals, or to
proceed higher, that they are rational creatures or men. For is it
not manifest that they live, and move, and talk, and perform all
other offices of human life? Are not beauty, and wit, and mien, and
breeding their inseparable proprieties? In short, we see nothing
but them, hear nothing but them. Is it not they who walk the
streets, fill up Parliament-, coffee-, play-, bawdy-houses. It is
true, indeed, that these animals, which are vulgarly called suits of
clothes or dresses, do according to certain compositions receive
different appellations. If one of them be trimmed up with a gold
chain, and a red gown, and a white rod, and a great horse, it is
called a Lord Mayor; if certain ermines and furs be placed in a
certain position, we style them a judge, and so an apt conjunction
of lawn and black satin we entitle a Bishop.
Others of these professors, though agreeing in the main system, were
yet more refined upon certain branches of it; and held that man was
an animal compounded of two dresses, the natural and the celestial
suit, which were the body and the soul; that the soul was the
outward, and the body the inward clothing; that the latter was ex
traduce, but the former of daily creation and circumfusion. This
last they proved by Scripture, because in them we live, and move,
and have our being: as likewise by philosophy, because they are all
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