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For, first, the pit is sunk below
the stage with due regard to the institution above deduced, that
whatever weighty matter shall be delivered thence, whether it be
lead or gold, may fall plump into the jaws of certain critics, as I
think they are called, which stand ready open to devour them. Then
the boxes are built round and raised to a level with the scene, in
deference to the ladies, because that large portion of wit laid out
in raising pruriences and protuberances is observed to run much upon
a line, and ever in a circle. The whining passions and little
starved conceits are gently wafted up by their own extreme levity to
the middle region, and there fix and are frozen by the frigid
understandings of the inhabitants. Bombast and buffoonery, by
nature lofty and light, soar highest of all, and would be lost in
the roof if the prudent architect had not, with much foresight,
contrived for them a fourth place, called the twelve-penny gallery,
and there planted a suitable colony, who greedily intercept them in
their passage.
Now this physico-logical scheme of oratorical receptacles or
machines contains a great mystery, being a type, a sign, an emblem,
a shadow, a symbol, bearing analogy to the spacious commonwealth of
writers and to those methods by which they must exalt themselves to
a certain eminency above the inferior world. By the Pulpit are
adumbrated the writings of our modern saints in Great Britain, as
they have spiritualised and refined them from the dross and
grossness of sense and human reason. The matter, as we have said,
is of rotten wood, and that upon two considerations: because it is
the quality of rotten wood to light in the dark; and secondly,
because its cavities are full of worms--which is a type with a pair
of handles, having a respect to the two principal qualifications of
the orator and the two different fates attending upon his works.
{63}
The Ladder is an adequate symbol of faction and of poetry, to both
of which so noble a number of authors are indebted for their fame.
Of faction, because .(Hiatus in MS.). Of poetry, because its
orators do perorare with a song; and because, climbing up by slow
degrees, fate is sure to turn them off before they can reach within
many steps of the top; and because it is a preferment attained by
transferring of propriety and a confounding of meum and tuum.
Under the Stage-itinerant are couched those productions designed for
the pleasure and delight of mortal man, such as "Six Pennyworth of
Wit," "Westminster Drolleries," "Delightful Tales," "Complete
Jesters," and the like, by which the writers of and for Grub Street
have in these later ages so nobly triumphed over time, have clipped
his wings, pared his nails, filed his teeth, turned back his hour-
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