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It seems to me that I am a little in the way here.

MABEL CHILTERN. It is very good for you to be in the way, and to
know what people say of you behind your back.

LORD GORING. I don't at all like knowing what people say of me
behind my back. It makes me far too conceited.

LORD CAVERSHAM. After that, my dear, I really must bid you good
morning.

MABEL CHILTERN. Oh! I hope you are not going to leave me all alone
with Lord Goring? Especially at such an early hour in the day.

LORD CAVERSHAM. I am afraid I can't take him with me to Downing
Street. It is not the Prime Minster's day for seeing the unemployed.

[Shakes hands with MABEL CHILTERN, takes up his hat and stick, and
goes out, with a parting glare of indignation at LORD GORING.]

MABEL CHILTERN. [Takes up roses and begins to arrange them in a bowl
on the table.] People who don't keep their appointments in the Park
are horrid.

LORD GORING. Detestable.

MABEL CHILTERN. I am glad you admit it. But I wish you wouldn't
look so pleased about it.

LORD GORING. I can't help it. I always look pleased when I am with
you.

MABEL CHILTERN. [Sadly.] Then I suppose it is my duty to remain
with you?

LORD GORING. Of course it is.

MABEL CHILTERN. Well, my duty is a thing I never do, on principle.
It always depresses me. So I am afraid I must leave you.

LORD GORING. Please don't, Miss Mabel. I have something very
particular to say to you.

MABEL CHILTERN. [Rapturously.] Oh! is it a proposal?

LORD GORING. [Somewhat taken aback.] Well, yes, it is - I am bound
to say it is.

MABEL CHILTERN. [With a sigh of pleasure.] I am so glad. That
makes the second to-day.

LORD GORING. [Indignantly.] The second to-day? What conceited ass
has been impertinent enough to dare to propose to you before I had
proposed to you?

MABEL CHILTERN. Tommy Trafford, of course. It is one of Tommy's
days for proposing. He always proposes on Tuesdays and Thursdays,
during the Season.

LORD GORING. You didn't accept him, I hope?

MABEL CHILTERN. I make it a rule never to accept Tommy. That is why
he goes on proposing. Of course, as you didn't turn up this morning,
I very nearly said yes. It would have been an excellent lesson both
for him and for you if I had. It would have taught you both better
manners.

LORD GORING. Oh! bother Tommy Trafford. Tommy is a silly little
ass. I love you.

MABEL CHILTERN. I know. And I think you might have mentioned it
before. I am sure I have given you heaps of opportunities.

LORD GORING. Mabel, do be serious. Please be serious.

MABEL CHILTERN. Ah! that is the sort of thing a man always says to a
girl before he has been married to her. He never says it afterwards.

LORD GORING. [Taking hold of her hand.] Mabel, I have told you that
I love you. Can't you love me a little in return?

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