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This
Argentine scheme is a commonplace Stock Exchange swindle.

MRS. CHEVELEY. A speculation, Sir Robert! A brilliant, daring
speculation.

SIR ROBERT CHILTERN. Believe me, Mrs. Cheveley, it is a swindle.
Let us call things by their proper names. It makes matters simpler.
We have all the information about it at the Foreign Office. In fact,
I sent out a special Commission to inquire into the matter privately,
and they report that the works are hardly begun, and as for the money
already subscribed, no one seems to know what has become of it. The
whole thing is a second Panama, and with not a quarter of the chance
of success that miserable affair ever had. I hope you have not
invested in it. I am sure you are far too clever to have done that.

MRS. CHEVELEY. I have invested very largely in it.

SIR ROBERT CHILTERN. Who could have advised you to do such a foolish
thing?

MRS. CHEVELEY. Your old friend - and mine.

SIR ROBERT CHILTERN. Who?

MRS. CHEVELEY. Baron Arnheim.

SIR ROBERT CHILTERN. [Frowning.] Ah! yes. I remember hearing, at
the time of his death, that he had been mixed up in the whole affair.

MRS. CHEVELEY. It was his last romance. His last but one, to do him
justice.

SIR ROBERT CHILTERN. [Rising.] But you have not seen my Corots yet.
They are in the music-room. Corots seem to go with music, don't
they? May I show them to you?

MRS. CHEVELEY. [Shaking her head.] I am not in a mood to-night for
silver twilights, or rose-pink dawns. I want to talk business.
[Motions to him with her fan to sit down again beside her.]

SIR ROBERT CHILTERN. I fear I have no advice to give you, Mrs.
Cheveley, except to interest yourself in something less dangerous.
The success of the Canal depends, of course, on the attitude of
England, and I am going to lay the report of the Commissioners before
the House to-morrow night.

MRS. CHEVELEY. That you must not do. In your own interests, Sir
Robert, to say nothing of mine, you must not do that.

SIR ROBERT CHILTERN. [Looking at her in wonder.] In my own
interests? My dear Mrs. Cheveley, what do you mean? [Sits down
beside her.]

MRS. CHEVELEY. Sir Robert, I will be quite frank with you. I want
you to withdraw the report that you had intended to lay before the
House, on the ground that you have reasons to believe that the
Commissioners have been prejudiced or misinformed, or something.
Then I want you to say a few words to the effect that the Government
is going to reconsider the question, and that you have reason to
believe that the Canal, if completed, will be of great international
value. You know the sort of things ministers say in cases of this
kind. A few ordinary platitudes will do. In modern life nothing
produces such an effect as a good platitude. It makes the whole
world kin. Will you do that for me?

SIR ROBERT CHILTERN.

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