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music-room, Mademoiselle?

MABEL CHILTERN. [Looking very disappointed.] Delighted, Vicomte,
quite delighted! [Turning to LORD GORING.] Aren't you coming to the
music-room?

LORD GORING. Not if there is any music going on, Miss Mabel.

MABEL CHILTERN. [Severely.] The music is in German. You would not
understand it.

[Goes out with the VICOMTE DE NANJAC. LORD CAVERSHAM comes up to his
son.]

LORD CAVERSHAM. Well, sir! what are you doing here? Wasting your
life as usual! You should be in bed, sir. You keep too late hours!
I heard of you the other night at Lady Rufford's dancing till four
o'clock in the morning!

LORD GORING. Only a quarter to four, father.

LORD CAVERSHAM. Can't make out how you stand London Society. The
thing has gone to the dogs, a lot of damned nobodies talking about
nothing.

LORD GORING. I love talking about nothing, father. It is the only
thing I know anything about.

LORD CAVERSHAM. You seem to me to be living entirely for pleasure.

LORD GORING. What else is there to live for, father? Nothing ages
like happiness.

LORD CAVERSHAM. You are heartless, sir, very heartless!

LORD GORING. I hope not, father. Good evening, Lady Basildon!

LADY BASILDON. [Arching two pretty eyebrows.] Are you here? I had
no idea you ever came to political parties!

LORD GORING. I adore political parties. They are the only place
left to us where people don't talk politics.

LADY BASILDON. I delight in talking politics. I talk them all day
long. But I can't bear listening to them. I don't know how the
unfortunate men in the House stand these long debates.

LORD GORING. By never listening.

LADY BASILDON. Really?

LORD GORING. [In his most serious manner.] Of course. You see, it
is a very dangerous thing to listen. If one listens one may be
convinced; and a man who allows himself to be convinced by an
argument is a thoroughly unreasonable person.

LADY BASILDON. Ah! that accounts for so much in men that I have
never understood, and so much in women that their husbands never
appreciate in them!

MRS. MARCHMONT. [With a sigh.] Our husbands never appreciate
anything in us. We have to go to others for that!

LADY BASILDON. [Emphatically.] Yes, always to others, have we not?

LORD GORING. [Smiling.] And those are the views of the two ladies
who are known to have the most admirable husbands in London.

MRS. MARCHMONT. That is exactly what we can't stand. My Reginald is
quite hopelessly faultless. He is really unendurably so, at times!
There is not the smallest element of excitement in knowing him.

LORD GORING. How terrible! Really, the thing should be more widely
known!

LADY BASILDON. Basildon is quite as bad; he is as domestic as if he
was a bachelor.

MRS. MARCHMONT. [Pressing LADY BASILDON'S hand.] My poor Olivia!
We have married perfect husbands, and we are well punished for it.

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